it's been a while...

I haven't post anything since 2016, which is 5 years ago? It somehow feels longer than that. I didn't know the person that write those trashy writing anymore. Well, trashy sounds a bit harsh but I cringe myself reading those writing because they are THAT bad.

However, they are my very first writing that I post online. It took me a lot of courage to do that. Letting people read it was a very hard move, I was not and am not used to that. I didn't like the idea of people knowing what is in my mind, which is weird, but I didn't (or don't) want them to think that those writing represent different kind of me. I really should get rid that toxic mindset or at least silenced it, it stops me from growing.

Beside being very terrible, some of those writing no longer represent my stance. I feel ashamed, how could I think that way? People who read those writing back in the day might think I am a bad person. It's neither that bad nor a very big deal but I can't help feeling that way. The thing is, I changed. I may not become a very good and amazing person, but there are things that changed from me.

I wish I can write more in the future to, at least, put some of my thoughts out of my head.